blaugra

Do you hate Facebook?

In 2006, a university fellow I was working with, Dani, introduced me to Facebook. She gave me her username and password so I could play with it, because at that time of course only schools were part of the network.

I was awed by its relevance combined with its irreverence.

Dani had over a thousand friends and they all went on exotic spring breaks, played drinking games, talked as little as possible about studying, and started up groups called, like, "I go out of my way to step on that extra crunchy leaf."  Hey...ME TOO! Now that was a group I wanted to join. It's still an active group. (Except I don't really know where groups are now.)

I couldn't join because it was only 2006. Waaaaah. 

Dani told me about meeting a boy at the gym's check-in desk and then, from the treadmill, observing him looking up her Facebook profile before deciding to friend her.

WHAT?!  I thought that was ludicrous. Then when I signed on I started to do the same thing, but, not really with a boy at the gym's check-in desk. I don't go to a gym.

The day that non-school-affliated-people could join Facebook, I jumped in. I built up a network of 27 people, I started groups, I started promoting the nonprofits I worked. I searched for connections, I made new friends. I still have some of these new "friends," people I've never met, but with whom I've interacted over common interests. 

I'm still a member of goofy groups like "Ball Talk" which is, well, exactly what you think it is. Built in a response to "The Vagina Monologues." Look for it, it's private, and if you want to join send the admin a request because it's hilarious, at least in our own sick minds.

But now I have a problem. I'm starting to hate Facebook. Or as Dani would say, "haaaaaaaaate it."

I've stopped looking for "friends." I only have 300. If someone friends me, well, I have to analyze, "Which photos do I want this person to see? Which list do I put her in? Does he get full profile or limited profile? How exactly do I know this person? I didn't even like working with her, and now she wants to friend me?"

It never used to be this way in 2007. 

I saw the Chevy Cruze commercial where the driver activates some wizardry that reads aloud his Facebook newsfeed that confirmed the date he just had really was great. My mouth dropped open.

Why the hell would I want that?  

There's this one girl who I was friends with in high school, not close friends. I know her whole freaking life now. I know her cute dog's name, what book she's reading, how her shoulder is healing from that injury and how flippin' fantastic her husband is. Why would I want my car telling me more about Sherry?  I haven't seen her in 25 years. While I'm driving?  But I don't want to ditch Sherry or even hide her. And there are several Sherrys, acquaintances. I like them, I wish them well, and, if I saw them in person I'd give them a big hello, but, I don't want to hear all about their lives while I'm driving.

While I'm driving is when I want to keep my own life straight in my head.

But maybe, maybe if it could read my Twitter feed to me... now that's a different story. That wouldn't annoy me.

Enough about the car.

I don't know what I want Facebook to be now. I can't not be on it. There are people who contact me only through Facebook. There are favorite small businesses and organizations who publish their news mostly on Facebook. And BEJEWELED. The hooks are in.

Five years ago I was awed by the boundless possibilities of Facebook.

Now I just want there to be boundaries.

That's kind of a funny statement since I'm a blogger. But I do have boundaries. I'm semi-private, I would never say most of what I say here if I attached it to my last name, if I were Googleable. I would never connect it to Facebook. So I try to maintain those boundaries, but they're just going to keep moving and eventually fall away. That day is getting closer and closer.

Either Zuckerberg is right about the age of privacy being over, or my dad is right about Facebook being a fad that will go away. What do you think?

Connection Stand-offs!

There are people with whom I'm reluctuant to be the Facebook or LinkedIn connection initiator.

I like connecting on LinkedIn with people I've recently met, or worked with in the recent past. It's just a push of a button. But I have been working for 20 years. Do I really want to connect with people I haven't seen in 12 years?

I know it's good for career networking. And you never know when you'll need a new career or a link to a new job. But will Joe Schmucko from Company A, the guy I didn't really like all that much even though we worked together ok - really want to hear from me? Will he be like, "Oh yay, Laura!  Let's connect!"

Well, if Joe Schmucko keeps showing up in my lists of people to connect to, then I show up in his. And neither one of us is making a move.

Maybe Joe is still clueless. Maybe he doesn't need me now. I'll spy to see if I might need him. 

Ugh, yet another independent marketing consultant!?  How is it possible that 50% of the people I worked with at Company A in the 1990s have become independent consultants? Well, when Joe is looking to drum up business he'll connect to me.  If he remembers my name.

I won't make the first move.

Because I know it's not going to be a quick click. It will lead to an exchange of messages, a how-are-you string of pretending to forget that one time that Joe Schmucko and I had a major disagreement.  You know, standard business things that upset me when I was at an immature age and work was, like, my LIFE.

OMG I must be the most immature 43-year-old! 

Wait - naaaah. Just because I'm currently singing along to Ke$ha at work, I'm considering getting Jibbits for my Croc flats (well, not really), and I bought a Hello Kitty notebook for my economics class, even though the design is subtle and not bright pink, that doesn't mean I'm immature. But the standoffs might mean I'm immature.

Tell me I'm not the only person who thinks this way. Are you in a Connection Standoff with anyone?

I might be an idiot.

This is the first post I'm doing with my Palm Pre. The Pre I've had since July and am still discovering how to us it and all the stuff it does and why smart people seem to like it so much. Not understanding the significance of Universal Search and push emails makes me even more idiotic. This is a big girl phone thingie. Of course just after I get myself all housebroken with it Palm releases the hip little Pixie and next, the Pre Plus that can do all kinds of extra stuff I don't understand.

Lest you think I'm turning into a gadget geek,
each day I am amazed at learning one new techy thing, even the most basic thing makes me go WOW!! Each day I realize all that I don't know how to do.

How do people know so much about one thing that they are able to invent new better things?

Related to my idiocy, I bought a laptop and I don't know what to do.

It's a Dell 17", huge. Heavy. Shiny. I have no idea how to connect it to internet wirelessly. It has Windows 7. My desktop has xp and my work has Vista, and I'm getting confused.

Every time I have a question I go to the places I'm referred to, page after page, and I'm not "getting it" yet.

So here are my questions, dear non-idiot readers:
should I keep this big laptop and hire someone to walk me through set-up of everything? Or should I return it and go get a sleeker and kess troublesome slightly more expensive Mac?

I feel like a lot of you know me and how I'm not an early adaptor of new tech, but I eventually learn and go on to impress my family with what little knowledge I have.

#sadness #death #compassion #anger #twitter

On Monday afternoon, I saw this tweet:

"Please pray like never before, my 2 yr old fell in the pool" written by "military_mom" and retweeted by a "dear friend."

Holy shit!  What did that mean, I thought?  Did the 2 yr old just fall in the pool? Did he fall in the pool earlier that day and hurt himself? Did he drown?  Tragically, sadly, the boy drowned.  The mom later posted a couple of photos of her "million-dollar baby" and there were countless tweets back to her of prayers, condolences and RIPs.

This was awful. I felt like I witnessed the accident myself.  I certainly witnessed the outpouring of emotion, in spurts of 140 characters or less. Not once did I doubt that this woman had lost a child.

Cha-chingy!

I've never been in "this" for the money. Whatever "this" is.  But, I thought I'd try an experiment with Six Apart's ad service to see what would fly. I'm a little confused by it, because I've always been the one placing the ads in everything I do, not the publisher. But I applied, was approved, and now... I'm confused again. An ad is supposed to pop up but where is it?  I want my two dollars!

So you see that little rectangle at the left?  Salty D. calls that "Blaugra Selling Out!"

Really?  Accepting money for creating content that exposes my personal life and exploits my relationships is a bad thing, honey?  

We'll have to see if the program will work. I just approved my first ad buys. I won't take any ads for products I wouldn't ever touch, and NO BAD CREATIVE. As we who used to be in the biz would say.

Best of all, I can reject ads for teeth whitening so Blaugra will remain a Gross-Brown-Teeth-Free zone! 

Anti-bitch

I bitch about shit.

Like this one doctors' office? Hated 'em.  I decided to change doctors along with hospital networks and just stop bitching about it.

New Doctor was like, "Well, we're not taking on new patients, but, we could squeeze you in for a  consult..." and Old Doctor was all, "What are you doing?  Where are you going?  Are you breaking up with me?"

New Doctor wanted my records from Old Doctor, and Old Doctor responded, "Welllll you have to pay per page copied and it's this really complicated elaborate scale of payment and we don't make the copies and a service comes in and does it for us and they only come in once every couple of weeks so it will take 4-6 weeks to get copies of your records faxed over." 

Really?  Are that many people requesting their records from your practice that you can't get copies made within a week?  Like, just take 10 pages of information written about me and run them through your big copier and I'll come pick them up.  No. This is not a Kinkos.  

Fuckin' Facebook

I've been too busy to blog and it's making me miserable.  I've only had time to scrawl illegible phrases in a journal. 

Adding to my misery is Facebook.  I know that I can just turn it off, I know I can ignore every tag and request, but, I don't. 

What started out as fun and games and another way to keep in touch with people, especially people under age 30, is now something I need to check every day so I don't miss something and I don't unknowingly ignore someone.  

My high school class is using it to get back in touch and say things like, "After 24 years, you look GREAT!" so it has replaced all the other lameass alumni networks.  Yes, I do it too. 

People are using it to promote a cause, round up community members for the common good.  I do this too.  I think Facebook is great for this purpose, despite all its flaws. 

So when Facebook becomes passe' in about a year, what new network will start up that we will have to join and give all kinds of personal information to, all over again? Or is it here for the long haul (3 more years?)  Or are we moving toward universal life streaming where all these apps converge and become a big monster of tweets and linked-ins and faces and flickrs and vloggers....AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

And then, there's just so much SHARING going on.  I do this too.  But all my worlds, all my tidy compartments of life, are colliding.  Not blending together, just kind of merging in a messy way.    And I've invited and participated in all of it.  I have no one to blame but myself.  We're closing in on being 4 degrees away from everyone instead of 6.

And then the OVER SHARING.  Instead of learning about someone little by little, some people are just putting it all out there. 

Alright.  Let's use this as an example.  Remember 10 years ago when people would start email chains in the office that asked "What's your favorite color?"  "What was your first concert?"  "What do you think of me?"   And I answered all the questions and read all the answers and laughed and shared.   This was done between friends and acquaintances, people you knew already, and were just trying to break some ice or come up with distractions to make the day go by faster and get some self-reinforcement that you were a cool neato worthwhile person.

Then with the blog memes, these are similar, I've done them, too.  Why?  Because I'm a follower.

On Facebook what has been in heavy circulation this week is the "tell me 16 random things about yourself."   I was tagged by this cool broad, I thought it was fun, I revealed random things like, "I hate grape flavored popsicles."  And someone would respond, "OMG, I HATE GRAPE FLAVORED POPSICLES TOO!"  Wow, we have so much in common.  Let's be friends but only in this network.  I've embellished this a little, and if you're also my friend on Facebook and read my thing then you can call my bluff. 

AND THEN came around "25 things about myself."  Acch, this is exhausting.  Yet I can't turn away. I'm intrigued. 

Some people took this as a challenge to reveal 25 of their innermost thoughts, dreams, sins, guiding life principles.  Some people answered with things like, "I've been thinking about sexual fetishes..."  and "I fight daily with all the voices in my head,"  and others stated the obvious, "My family is the most important thing in the world to me," and others confessed things like "I have a pierced third nipple."

Made me feel pretty superficial that I just mentioned that I don't like grape flavored popsicles.  

What, pray tell, all you psychologists and trend watchers, is going on here?   And why am I having such a difficult time processing it all?   When is all this sharing going to implode?  Are non-facebook users happier?   

Tell me what to do.

I need to feel more connected.  This is completely opposite from Salty D. who is blissfully living without a cell phone or any other mobile operation. He doesn't even keep a calendar.  I don't know how he does that.  I'm obsessed with calendars. 

I use an old-school non-networked Palm for all my contacts and calendar (I don't use Outlook), so I'm thinking about upgrading to a Palm Centro, merging my phone and Palm into one smart little device. 

Aaaaaand then there's the pretty new iPhone.

That's the backstory.  I am in your hands. Vote below and tell me what you think in the comments.