blaugra

Hanukkah Princess strikes again: 8 gifts, please!

Hanukkah starts Sunday night and I'm almost ready with Salty D.'s eight gifts (our tradition is we exchange gifts every night). I bought most of them local, but a couple of them haven't arrived yet -- as we all say "Hanukkah is so early this year!" We go from mashed potatoes and gravy right into potato latkes and applesauce. Hopefully the gifts for him arrive early next week so I won't have to give him any IOUs. 

Once again, D. asked me what I would like for Hanukkah. Seems like just yesterday I wrote this list of ideas for him to choose from.

So this year, I gave him this list:

• Pomegranate arils (what the fuck is an aril, he asked)
• Wine
• L'Occitane cherry blossom stuff like what Kristin got me a while back and I need replenishment
• Overland slippers to replace the ones I'm wearing now that have a giant hole in the right side of the right foot. Sad because I bought them on sale at the Overland store on the plaza in Santa Fe.
• Soap
• A facial at my fave massage place because I don't get them often
• A bouquet of flowers (because you don't bring me flowers anymore)
• Dinner out at a Thai or Middle Eastern place (this means dining with me, not a gift card so that I go with a friend! Since he doesn't really care for Thai or Middle Eastern food, his company would be the biggest gift.)

See, I'm not hard to buy for. Am I? Or am I a Princess? 

I have the box of potato pancake mix ready to go (the traditional way to latke in my family.) Happy happy Hanukkah!

p.s. to self: don't forget Giving Tuesday! The food banks need you!

#GivingTuesday

I didn't shop on Black Friday, and I bought just two gifts on Cyber Monday (and I really, really hate "cyber" - it's so early 2000's) but I'm considering participating in Giving Tuesday on December 3rd.

I've scaled back on my giving this year due in part to just being numb to need. I know that's a terrible thing, not being moved enough by a horrific typhoon or illiteracy or hunger or arts deprivation or etc. to give. But, that's been my year.

Giving is very personal and it's not a decision that I make lightly, even if the donation is ten bucks. 

While I think that Giving Tuesday is brilliant, and you can see here many of the organizations participating, I'm going to keep it mostly local.

My friend Jeannette who recently died asked in her obituary for people to give blood. I talked about this with her partner last week. Transfusions saved her several times. She was struck by how people's selfless contributions of blood extended her life.

Well, I can't give blood anymore.  I used to like donating blood. So I recently Tweeted about giving blood and that actually influenced someone to donate. That felt great.

And what's going to feel even better is giving a monetary donation to the local organization that supplied the blood that saved Jeannette's life a few times, in honor of her. I know my donation is not going to help much, but it might buy some postage for a fundraising mailing, or some vials or a piece of tubing.  Every drop adds up. I'll be thinking of her as I push the donate now button on GivingTuesday.

Even if you don't have money to donate anywhere, one of the founders of Giving Tuesday stresses that it's a day to perform acts of kindness.  Generally, I'm a kind person but pretty passive about it. Sometimes I'll pick up garbage. Sometimes I'll overtip a great waitress. Sometimes I'll buy squash at the farmers market and take them to somebody. So I can't guarantee I'll perform any extra acts of kindness on Tuesday, but I am thinking about my budget for contributions.

What fun are you having on #GivingTuesday?

More important issues: Eyeshadow! Giveaway!

At BlogHer, I met Debra Macki at The Yellow Umbrella booth.

The Yellow Umbrella is all about educating about the prevention of cervical cancer. Pap smears aren't 100% accurate in detecting cancer early, and there are other tools that our doctors can use. We need to ask for the liquid pap and the HPV test, especially if we're over 30.  And get educated about the HPV vaccine. So, um, that's on my to-do list.

Debra is freakin' cool. She made up my eyes, and Jen14221's, and PeevedMichelle's,  -- AND KE$HA'S! that's right Ke$ha was at BlogHer* -- and we all are, of course, rock stars.

And now you can be a rock star too. Because I won two palettes of the eyeshadow created by Debra for the benefit of The Yellow Umbrella, one to keep and one to give. 

How to give to charity

My Auntie D. and I have both worked extensively with charities.  So to us, thinking about giving to a charity and how the charity uses the money is like second nature. But to some people in the mainstream, you just don't know. You might think, "Oh, but I want to save the children!" and your desire is in the right place, but you need to know how your money is being used.

So here's a guide. MY guide.

>>> If you want to give to an international charity, make sure they have a stateside office.

>>> Don't fund any organizations that also provide money to terrorist organizations. Duh. But this includes UNICEF, of which I was kindly informed after giving to them for Haiti relief.

>>> Check to make sure the charity you want to give to is allowed to raise funds in your state.  In Pennsylvania, there's a bureau of charitable organizations in the State Department that a nonprofit must register with in order to ask for funds. I don't think all states have their own registration requirement but you'd best check it out. That means the state has done some due diligence for you. If they aren't listed, don't give. If you know the people at the charity, tell them to register with the state. 

>>> Use sites like Charity Navigator, Guidestar to do your own due diligence. What does their Charity Navigator pie chart look like? Do they have a Guidestar profile?  Do they file a full IRS 990 tax return?  Read it. You see what the management and board's compensation is, what is spent on mission-based programs vs. promotion and fundraising. Use your judgment - does it add up for you? 

I don't like to give to large organizations that aren't ranked as 4-star on Charity Navigator, or organizations that spend more than 15% of their annual income on marketing and fundraising expenses. Some nonprofit experts think that formula is too simplistic. Some don't agree with it. Whatever, it's my blog, I'm calling myself an expert.

The fact is, in any business, (and charities are businesses) it costs money to make money. The difference with nonprofits is that mission comes before profit. 

Yes, non-profits can be profitable! But that profit on the books must be reinvested into the mission. Every decision they make, which is reflected in the 990, especially in the new 990 forms implemented in 2008, needs to support their purpose. Not to pay for a board retreat in the Canary Islands, or an expense account for the development director to have lunch with cronies every day of the week, or to print endless amounts of image brochures, or to pay an executive director a salary of $180,000 in an industry and region where other executive directors are earning $80,000. 

This is where Auntie D. and I differ.  I feel that if a charity's CEO earns big duckets that is not necessarily wrong. Just that it's all relative. How effective is that CEO, how committed is she to the mission, how does her salary stack up against others in the field?  Does the organization have a $50 million budget and a $1 million endowment to manage?  It's worth paying her what it requires to keep everything on track and moving forward.  Why pay her much less than her for-profit counterparts?  And of course the overpaid CEO is rarely a "she."  Silly!

Conversely, many people in nonprofits are woefully underpaid for the responsibilities and job stress they have.

>>> Give locally.  It could be to a local chapter of the Sierra Club or Boy Scouts vs. the national headquarters.  Giving to local chapters or programs which are based on an existing model is not a bad thing at all.  Often they operate very efficiently because the organizational legwork has been decided for them. However, in the case of one of the aforementioned organizations, there may be so much bureaucrazy that you have no idea where your $50 is going to go.  Plus some national organizations have too many places to hide the money.

By the way, they're not allowed to hide anything from you. Since they're publicly supported, these charities, they have to provide you with their IRS returns if you can't find them yourself.

>>> Be wary of new charities. Are they duplicating work of other charities in your community? Why are they forming?  Who else is supporting them?  What need are they addressing? What type of funding are they getting - is it all from one or two wealthy individuals, or is it a good mix of sponsorships, individuals, foundations, businesses, in-kind contributions, government and fundraising events?  Hey, those are good questions no matter the age of the nonprofit.

Do you have to go through this whole thought process just to text your ten bucks to the Red Cross in Nashville, or to sponsor your friend in the JDRF Walk?  Maybe. 

>>> And, finally, know thyself, why you give and what or who you're supporting.

I could give you a list here of all kinds of resources but I don't feel like it right now. Maybe later. But I do feel like hearing what you have to say about giving.

Good time of a different kind

I've been known to cry at the drop of a hair so this little plug I guess doesn't say much when I say that an annual event is happening this weekened that typically brings me to tears.

No, not the Kentucky Derby.

I'll be missing the mint julep parties this year, and not just because I can't tolerate mint these days. Damn.

I'm volunteering at a theatre's "Young Playwright's Festival." 

The Young Playwright's lab works with kids in elementary schools who want to create plays. The kids work with theatre professionals to learn how to be creative both mentally and physically as they write stories and talk about staging. Then the final plays are directed and performed by professionals, and community actors, together, in a big fancy theatre.

The young playwrights sit in the audience and watch their play on stage, and soak up the audience's reaction.

Some of the plays are unintentionally funny, the way kids naturally are. Some of them are about love affairs between giant rodents, for example. Others are windows into the hearts and homes of the kids. And that's often what makes me cry.

The whole event, though, makes me hopeful for the future. It's a good time.

Suck on this.

Yesterday I was so preoccupied with something small yet offensive, that I missed major news.  That pissed me off, getting so caught up with my own ego that I ignored the world. But I have to admit I was kind of tired from watching the Yankees spankee their formidable opponents which may have contributed to my cluelessness.

Well, you know that people say volunteering is good for the soul, and the government shoves down our throats the mantra that we should all care enough to volunteer.  I volunteer, and I've been doing that for

Miller Lite

I went to a show of U2's monstrous spectacular tour-de-force. And it was. I met up with a friend I haven't seen in a year, at her home in Maryland. She and her husband have a cute dog - he's got a big barrel-shaped body and a tiny head, I think they've had him on a diet.  She said the dog's name is Miller.

I'm like, "Miller is a last name, or an occupation, why is that his name?" and she said, "You know...Miller Lite."  Oh yeah, Miller beer. Right. It's a beer belly. I walked into their house and it was like a shrine to Miller Lite beer.  Her husband demonstrates brand loyalty.

Then we packed up her car with a cooler of Miller Lite and two bags of chips and sandwiches and headed to the stadium and "tailgated" among the other fans, the Blackberry/Sprint tents, Amnesty International tent, ONE campaign tent, and a huge amount of security including eyes in the skies.

I last saw U2 during the Unforgettable Fire tour in....um....I don't know.  I couldn't drive to it, I know that. And in recent years I haven't been a huge fan of their music. In fact, the most recent two albums bummed me out.

There are tons of oooh-aaaah posts and photos about the shows, the set list, the sets.  But I'm here to show and tell you what I saw and heard.

Standing under the giant spaceship set, 30 minutes before showtime. I can not stress how amazingly amazing this set is. Even if you dislike the band, if you have any interest at all in sets, lighting, sound, engineering...go you must.

We had tickets in the (RED)Zone which means we were on the floor, but not in the inner circle. One of the benefits of (RED)Zone tickets was "your own private bathrooms" which I was REALLY excited about.  I thought they would be one of those really nice trailers with real bathrooms in them, rolled out onto the football field. No, a line of port-a-potties so we didn't have to walk up stairs.  A good thing because we also had personal Guinness vendors which dammit I couldn't deal with because I

On the Side

One of the things that impressed me at BlogHer was meeting women who work a regular job, then do some other contract work on the side, and maybe even get paid to blog on top of it all. I've lived so long in a state of de-valuation that I'd never thought of asking to be paid for what I simply like doing on the side.

Yet volunteering my skills is also important to me and I've been doing that since the 4th grade.  And I'm always one to help a friend write a resume, or promote a business.  What I do has value, but I certainly want to share it with friends and serve the community. I know that favor will usually be returned when I need it.  But I also have to stop giving it away for free.  I just need to find a balance. I don't think finding a balance is impossible.

This is why I'm thinking this through.

I'm on the board of directors for an organization.  Actually, I'm one of the board chairs. This gig isn't something I find a lot of joy in, but it's one of those "shoulds."  I should find the experience valuable, I should have something to offer, I should fulfill my community committment that I made a few years ago after graduating from a leadership program, that I would serve as a board member on a non-profit. 

But I'd rather be doing other things right now. 

Except there's a big fat benefit event coming up so I should help. 

I hadn't felt much connection to the big fat benefit event until recently.  Perhaps the connection coincided with the pressure of being a board chair, perhaps it's because the organization, like most non-profits now, needs to earn revenue from the big fat benefit event more than ever before.  So I feel needed.  That's an important motivation to volunteer - you neeeeeed me.

After a meeting yesterday at which I attempted to rally the troops to kick some fundraising asses, I pulled aside the staff coordinator of the event and asked her to talk to my little point-and-shoot camera as if she were talking to other board members who might be, well, not very involved in the event.  Like the ones who didn't come to the meeting and are wondering what to do.

I cobbled the video together, threw it up on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, here... and wow!  First time I ever did that. I know, I know, always late to the party.  Albeit fashionably late. 

Yeah, I know, not exactly cutting edge or high quality. I see what other charities do to connect meaningfully with people. But still, this is something newish for this crew even though it's so 2000-and-late.  

It felt really good. 

It's a marathon minute (well, a teeny bit over a minute) and the sound got wacky, but let me know what you think.  Even if you hate it, I will still feel good.

S-A-T-U-R- D-A-Y NIGHT 8:30-9:30 ! Turn out the lights, Turn out the lights

I get it, I really do.  But I don't get it. 

If I'm constantly running a refrigerator, heat, computer, and the old blinking VCR clock, then wouldn't it make sense to unplug all of that stuff on a regular basis (maybe not the fridge...) instead of just out'ning the lights for an hour tomorrow?  Plus, what I'll probably do is turn out the lights at home and then go somewhere where there is plentiful electricity, like Bingo at the Republican Club.

Then, the Earth Hour activities include blogging, videoing, posting your Earth Hour experience.  So, don't tweet for one hour, and film yourself doing stuff, and then at 9:30 get back online using electricity and post like crazy in a big surge.  That's just silly.

But I do get it, and I like how it's calling attention to the big issue of global warming.  Last year it was illuminating yet confusing saying stuff like we can decrease our one-day energy use by 10% by turning off lights for an hour, temporarily decreasing carbon emissions.

But today, I don't get this:  "This year, Earth Hour has been transformed into the world’s first global election, between Earth and global warming."

So, if I go to a brightly lit bingo hall or movie theatre, whose lights are not going to dim, then we're all voting for global warming.  But if I sit home in the dark, I'm voting for the Earth.  Who's counting the ballots?  And if you decide to be all natureboy, make a bonfire and dance around it and pretend you're at Burning Man, you know you're generating carbon that way, too.

The Golden Gate Bridge and the Empire State Building will go dark, which is amazing.  I just hope people don't start looting in the darkness. 

OK, OK, I get that it's about the symbolism and keeping up the awareness, so that Global Warming eclipses The Economy and The War in our minds for a moment.  I buy that.

 

Girl, Inspired

I am obsessed with two people now.  Russell Brand (more about him later on) and Aimee Mullins.

Aimee = actor/athlete/speaker/model/gorgeous person. 

She's from Allentown, so, BONUS! she's my homegirl. 

Aimee's speaking at an event next week.  She was recently at TED and hers is one of the most inspiring talks, to me.  Oh, and, she is without lower legs.

The event where she's speaking benefits an organization helps people with disabilities.  But, Aimee's  not a spokeswoman for people with disabilities.  After all, she's a champion, she works the runway, hits the big name film fest circuit, she has fabulous shoes, and she can be whatever height she wants.  How are those disabilities?  I mean, shit!  

Imagine having the perfect size 8 foot!  Imagine deciding if you want to be 6 feet today, or not. Imagine running like a cheetah.  Imagine running the Women's Sports Foundation. She has turned the absence of legs into a superpower. What a strong woman!  I'm totally inspired.

   

Watch her TED video and you'll see what I mean.