I get the sense that neither meteorology nor psychiatry is an exact science. Both fields have raised an equal number of questions over the past months. Similar questions.
"What's with all this precipitation that was not in the forecast?"
"Why is it so cold?"
"Where's the storm you said was gonna hit?"
"When will the sun come out again?"
Either professional says Hey, sometimes we're wrong. Sometimes it's hard to tell. Even with all this science behind them. It seems like a guessing game. Doesn't inspire confidence.
The psychiatrist can't tell you how you're going to react to a drug. He can tell you what he'd like to see happen, but that isn't up to him. So you're stuck feeling too cold or too hot or crying too much or sitting like a catatonic blob or whatever side effects or symptoms you have, and he can just shrug it off, make a note, and recommend something different.
It's been about a year of bad, from what I can remember, shenanigans messing around with drugs, and I finally got more active and challenged the psychiatrist more. During times of breakdowns, when it was really hard because I just wanted relief.
After about a year, we're still futzing around with meds. Still. I know, I know. This is all a normal experience for someone taking any kinds of medication. I know. Salty D. keeps telling me this.
I've been impatient. But a ray of sun stretched into my doctor's office when we realized together that one drug was finally doing its job, and another drug that has been problematic could be phased out.
That's huge. We were on the same page. I smiled on the drive home. I am fighting the urge to put a deadline on when this girl will be rebalanced. I don't want to be wrong.
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