A friend asked me, "What do you do for fun?"
I had to think about it.
Uh-oh.
Am I not having fun in life?
In college I wore a tie-dyed tshirt that had the word FUN printed on the front. That was a time when drunken Twinkie-lifting at convenience stores or stoned laser tag was our fun.
Later on, I was called the girl-with-the-fun-office. I had an attitude that if sounds fun, do it. Karaoke from Jesus Christ Superstar in a sushi bar? Do it. Dance party when we're the only people dancing? Do it. Decorate cookies with obnoxious words? Do it.
Where has my fun gone?
I think my fun has been leeched from my body. Sometimes I laugh with Salty D. at something silly on the Big Bang Theory or when he makes one of his good jokes. I do laugh with friends. I laugh at tweets. And hey, kids are fun, right?
But I think my depression stole my fun. I'm not hating life, but I'm not going out of my way to make life amusing and intriguing. I'm even turning down fun opportunities because of the depression. I recently slept through an evening when I was invited to a disco party.
Yes. I HAD AN OPPORTUNITY TO WEAR BODY GLITTER AND A SPARKLY COWGIRL HAT AND DANCE TO ABBA WITH FUN PEOPLE AND I SLEPT THROUGH IT and felt really good when I woke up.
Another friend once remarked that I "could even make depression fun!" I wish that felt true.
Coincidentally, as I'm writing, this song just came up on my Pandora:
Fun has changed! A good tweet is now fun as is a new, good recipe or spending an entire day in flannel jammies - heh heh.
Posted by: Kristin | 09 November 2011 at 11:50 AM