Live [drunk] blogging: Glee!

I told D. that Glee was a must-see tonight because Curt Hummel returns from the all-boys' school! And D. said "NO WAY! OH MY GOD!"  I said, I know, right?

So I decided to live blog Glee like it's 2007. I'm feeling nostalgic.

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I want to punch this doctor who told Rachel to get rhinoplasty because it's a rite of passage for Jewish girls.

Santana to Finn: "You have weird puffy pyramid nipples. They look like they're filled with custard."

All of a sudden I'm hungry for profiteroles.

 Salty D. leaves room to get a slice of cheesecake.

Another Santana musing:  "Holy crap! I'm a closet lesbian and a judgmental bitch, which means one thing, I have awesome gaydar."

Salty D. comes back to room. "Did I miss anything gay?"

I take a sip from my giant chalice of Pinot Noir.

D. asks: "Are you blogging about ME again?"

Did I spell chalice correctly?

Oh here's an ad for that Glee Encore DVD that PeevedMichelle said to get. I think that would make a great gift.

I have that Glee app on my iPad. It's fun to be autotuned.

I like this Lauren chick but I would like to take her to my favorite optical gallery for new frames. D. likes her shirt with the skull on it. I love when Puck calls her "baby."

 OMG I LOVE THIS SONG!  So unpretty. It makes me a little teary-eyed. Does that surprise you?  (post-show analysis: Unpretty is my fave song from this episode.)

D. asks, "how is it that girl never had her nose broken?"

What? Does every teenager get a broken nose? I never had my nose broken.

quick question for you: What musical is "I feel pretty" from? D. wants to know. He thinks it's from South Pacific.

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 Auntie Tanni? I know a certain someone who would love to call Santana his Auntie Tanni. And his name begins with a J not a D.

 Could I possibly stuff more jellybeans in my mouth during the commercial break? Not like I have a big Sam mouth. More pinot. Ew it doesn't exactly complement the jellybeans.

So, I have trapped Salty. D. with a live conflict on the DVR. I'm recording both Glee and the Dancing with the Stars special, so he HAS to watch Glee with me.

So this 90-minute episode, they're just adding 25 minutes of commercials, is that it?

I like Brittany S. Pierce's Debbie Gibson look.

I don't remember this much hot smooching in my high school's Glee club. I don't think I was singing the right way.

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OK, Will Schuester lecturing Emma is NOT hot. He's being too brotherly.

More wine.

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While having problems with my internets connection I drank so much wine that my teeth are now purple.

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I can't wait to watch Constantine on Dancing with the Stars. OMG...Rock of Ages was SO. MUCH. FUN. Hey.They also do "Don't Stop Believin."  And last nite, Chris Jericho danced to "Don't Stop Believin."  I think that is all cosmic magic.

More wine.

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 Curt has big hair now? What have the Warblers done to him?

I love Curt's dad so much. One of my friends who is gay said their relationship is totally unrealistic. That's kind of sad.

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Puck: "I just want to talk to you. One hot Jew to another."

I just love him and his bad-ass Jewish ways.

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I hope when they do Gaga they do it a little more Gleetastically and not American-Idol-karaoke-in-unison.

I don't know what song this is, Curt. I feel like a failure at showtunes. And I can't get Salty D. to come back and watch the rest of the show with me. Waaaaaaah

HEY WAIT A MINUTE. No Sue Sylvester? No wonder Salty left the room.

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Have you watched MobWives? I would like to see Renee from MobWives fight with Danielle from Real Housewives of New Jersey.

OK we're back.

Lucy Quinn Fabray looked like I did in middle school. Mwah hahahahahah!  Middle school sucked ass. 

"Why did you bring me here, is there a sale at Claire's?"  nice. You can buy your Puck and Finn jewelry there, Rachel.

 Salty D. admits that if he encountered a flash mob in a mall he would push them out of the way and say "Escuze me, I'm walking here!"

Party pooper.

I wonder if my 6-year-old nephew is watching this and dancing along?  Does he want to know who Barbra Streisand is?

 D. steals my wine glass for a swig. NOOOOOO! THAT'S MY WINE! I whine.

Dammit, I just realized The Voice is on now, too. Why does all the good stuff have to be on at the same time??!!!!

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OMG we are going there with mental illness...yes!!  Glee tackles a dozen social problems all in one night!  Emma, get the therapy and take a pill, your illness is keeping you from who you're supposed to be!

Aaaaand I'm crying. Damn that too much wine and the therapist's office.

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"What, because you're Lebanese and I'm bi-curious?"

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It's the end of the episode. I'm tired, I'm buzzed, and I'm sweating because it has gone from wearing fuzzy sweater weather to wearing a sundress weather in an instant. And I'm crying. Even though Trouty-Mouth came back to amuse me. D. said, "Don't cry. It's over now." 

 

Comments

[kayteadee]

I think I'd like Glee better if they ran encore-only episodes on the weekends. Like an "in case you missed the good bits" public service.

Unrelated: It looks like they're totally going there with Santana. I kind of liked it better when she was sexually ambiguous/omnivorous.

[blaugra]

I'm not fond of the Santana lesbian story yet. Not that I'm anti-lesbian.

I would love weekend encores!

[Kristin]

I watched this episode last night with only one glass of wine left in the screw top bottle - so needed more. The OCD part made me well up and the nose parts pissed me off.

[Peeved Michelle]

The Voice was so good! I heard they are re-airing it tonight. You need to drop DWTS and get The Voice instead. It was the best reality competition show I HAVE EVER SEEN.

[blaugra]

Better than The Sing-Off hosted by Nick Lachey? I loved that one.

[blaugra]

Kristin I'm so glad you watched the episode!