Showtime

Last night I went to the theatre-formerly-known-as-my-employer. I took my visiting Auntie. While we were waiting a exceedingly long time for the show to start, late, she asked me, "Would you go to the royal wedding?"

I thought about it. I remembered seeing an interview with Kelly Osbourne where she and her mum were asked if they would be attending, and Kelly said she'd rather watch it from home on the telly.

But I don't agree with Kelly. Why wouldn't she go? She can wear anything and be British and everyone likes her now that's she's not a sullen teenager.

I said, "I would go. If someone would dress me."

I meant, have a designer take on the challenge of getting me into a flattering and fitting frock so I wouldn't have to think about it. Put me in something that's not black and does not require any annoying undergarments, wardrobe tape, duct tape, or safety pins.

Then this woman in front of us turns around to jump into the conversation. 

Now, I don't mean to be mean, but she was a frizzy-haired woman from Bergen County wearing jeans and a sweater and a big coat. She wasn't super attractive, objectively speaking. Nothing special. That's important to note for the rest of the story. She said, "Sorry to jump in but I heard what you were saying..."

I thought, oooh fun, someone with whom to further discuss our fantasy invitations to the royal wedding. I would make up a title for myself and watch lots of AbFab in order to adopt a crazy accent so I wouldn't sound like Andie McDowell in Four Weddings and a Funeral, like an American trying too hard to not talk like a common Yankee.  I would just be obnoxious.

No. She missed the point of our conversation.  She said, "I want to start my own business where I would help women dress themselves. People are always telling me how my clothes match well and how I put an outfit together so I think this is something that women, especially young women, need to boost their confidence, you know?" and she kept talking and I did my usual "Really? Yeah. Great idea. Sounds good. Why don't you open a shop in one of the empty storefronts down the street?" 

No. That's a cockamamie idea. She looked kind of frumpy to me.

If I want how-to-dress-myself-advice I'd go to Clinton and Stacy,  or Jodi-Lori-&-Beth (who are girlfriends in real life and not yet on TV but could teach every 35+ woman a thing or two about looking great.)

Then the curtain rose on the show, thank goodness.

Comments

[lg]

You can take me off that list -- I went to the bus stop in pajama pants and Uggs last week. Twice. Granted I drove and had on a great Micheal Kors coat but I still have to get out to get my child (kindergarteners must be met by a parent). I have officially given up.

[KtP]

I love that you said cockamamie. Also, I believe I've shared with you my crush on Clinton Kelly, so of course I think that's a wise choice.

[blaugra]

I'm a little horrified at the pajama pants at the pick-up, lg, but I think you may be underselling yourself - the coat and Uggs and handbag I'm sure distracted the eye.

I think Clinton is kind of cute too.