Connection Stand-offs!

There are people with whom I'm reluctuant to be the Facebook or LinkedIn connection initiator.

I like connecting on LinkedIn with people I've recently met, or worked with in the recent past. It's just a push of a button. But I have been working for 20 years. Do I really want to connect with people I haven't seen in 12 years?

I know it's good for career networking. And you never know when you'll need a new career or a link to a new job. But will Joe Schmucko from Company A, the guy I didn't really like all that much even though we worked together ok - really want to hear from me? Will he be like, "Oh yay, Laura!  Let's connect!"

Well, if Joe Schmucko keeps showing up in my lists of people to connect to, then I show up in his. And neither one of us is making a move.

Maybe Joe is still clueless. Maybe he doesn't need me now. I'll spy to see if I might need him. 

Ugh, yet another independent marketing consultant!?  How is it possible that 50% of the people I worked with at Company A in the 1990s have become independent consultants? Well, when Joe is looking to drum up business he'll connect to me.  If he remembers my name.

I won't make the first move.

Because I know it's not going to be a quick click. It will lead to an exchange of messages, a how-are-you string of pretending to forget that one time that Joe Schmucko and I had a major disagreement.  You know, standard business things that upset me when I was at an immature age and work was, like, my LIFE.

OMG I must be the most immature 43-year-old! 

Wait - naaaah. Just because I'm currently singing along to Ke$ha at work, I'm considering getting Jibbits for my Croc flats (well, not really), and I bought a Hello Kitty notebook for my economics class, even though the design is subtle and not bright pink, that doesn't mean I'm immature. But the standoffs might mean I'm immature.

Tell me I'm not the only person who thinks this way. Are you in a Connection Standoff with anyone?

Comments

[Peeved Michelle]

Thereis a good chance that this stand-off is all in your head.

I have a zillion connections on LinkedIn. (600?) I have worked in the internet industry for 11 years. There is a lot of turnover. I connect with people I meet at conferences, too. I do not connect with people with whom I had an unpleasant professional relationship. The point is connect with people who can help you and who would want to help you.

When I so those people in the list, I pass right by them with barely a second thought, and I am sure they do the same to me. It's not a stand-off, more like a mutual agreement never to speak to each other again.

[joanne]

I'm totally with you on this one blaugra. Especially on facebook when I see names I recognize. I figure, they obviously don't recognize me so why friend them? :)