The Soda Jerk

Dad has been laid up for a week or so, not able to do much except live inside his head. 

I think when you get to be over 70, inside-the-head might often be a scary place. So he has been trying to get things out of his head, I think, by telling me stories.  I never stop him from telling me old stories for the 23rd time. They usually get better with time, too - more embellishments that I think he makes up.

One of dad's more colorful jobs was as a soda jerk at Baker's drug store on Main Street in his little village. He'd ride his bike there after school, jerk around, and then ride home (which he said was really far but I've done that ride and it's not that far) where my grandma had a plate of food warming for him. 

<<< This is not my dad but is pretty much how I imagine he'd look, making phosphates and Tutti Fruities. All the 1950s cats and kittens would come to Baker's after school to hang out and hook up and play the jukebox. For 5-cents-per-play, played 20 times a day, was Blue Suede Shoes by Carl Perkins. 

I wanted to ask him if the T-Birds showed up and dropped aspirins in the Pink Ladies' Cokes but I didn't want to rib him too much. 

He told me about making the hot fudge from scratch and serving up his favorite, the banana split. Sometimes he ate a banana split at the shop before dinner and his mom was mad when he wasn't hungry for the warm plate of food at home.

Dad:  "Then there was this other sundae that was really popular, the Three Cousins. Oh, yeah. Like a banana split without the dressings."

Me: "Whaddya mean, the dressings?  No sauces?"

Dad:  "Ya see, it's a banana, peeled and cut in half [as if I didn't know that part] with one scoop of chocolate, one scoop vanilla, one scoop strawberry, and then instead of three sauces on top, you'd just use two, chocolate and strawberry. No nuts, no whipped cream, no cherry on top. Just a stripped down version of the banana split."

Me: "I don't get it."

Dad: "What's not to get?"

Me: "Why only two sauces but three scoops? Why not any whipped cream? Seems kind of boring. What's the point?  Why would it be called the three cousins?"

Dad: *sighs* "This is not for me to understand.  And some people ordered the 'Three Cousins, No Banana.'"

Me: "That's absurd!"

Dad: "The most popular drinks, hands-down, were the cherry phosphate and the vanilla Coke. You know about vanilla Coke?"

Me: "Of course. I love real vanilla Coke."

Dad: "Not the stuff from the can, but from the fountain, with the vanilla syrup..."

Me: "Yeah. I know. It's my favorite."

Dad: "The older people liked the hot fudge sundaes. But the kids, they'd come in for a tutti frutti and to hang around the jukebox, meeting girls...and then sometimes, I'd get the customer who would be kind of embarrassed to ask for items from the drug store. There were the guys who would look down and shuffle their feet and mumble and I had to say 'Speak up what did you say?' and they were asking for prophylactics."

Me: "Prophylactics? You mean CONDOMS?"

Dad: "And they would ask me for a recommendation because there were so many brands to choose from."

Me: "I suppose you couldn't really go wrong with Trojans, right?"  Um, yeah, why did I say that?

Dad: "Well, no, there were all these different kinds, like some had these ribs on them, some had different textures for different sensations, you had your reservoir tip, you know..."

Me: "And they asked YOU to recommend a condom style?"

Dad:  "Yeah. It was kind of embarrassing, really."

Kind of like the way this conversation had turned.

Comments

[joanne]

Awesome! My dad doesn't really have cool stories I don't think. And he sure wouldn't tell me about condoms. :)

[kayteadee]

I think this was the first time in 10 years that I have read someone use the word prophylactics. You just have to love dads. Hope yours is up and about soon.

[Lurker Girl]

Speaking of dads and condoms (ew), my dad one time asked his French cousin if she wanted a condom on her toast.

You see, my dad used to think that adding a "tif" to any English word made it French. So, he asked his cousin if she wanted "preservatif" on her toast. She giggled hysterically and explained that preservatif was French for condom.

[Kristin]

These are priceless stories. Especially the reservoir tip...