blaugra: News from the dumping ground

I just got a phone call that my parents have achieved final settlement on their house.

Please join me in saying WHEW.

My dad is celebrating with a glass of Jack. My mom is celebrating by...thinking about more stuff she wants to give me, in order to clean out the old house. I really can't take it anymore.

When the buying people walked through the house, my dad thought the professionals involved weren't doing a great job at closing the deal. So, he said, "I dazzled and baffled them with too much information. I gave them detail overload and talked them into everything. They had no questions or comments."

My response: "Wow, Dad, I can't picture THAT at ALL."

Him: "Really?"

No, not really. That's typical Dad.

Meanwhile, my mother left a bag of pantry remnants for me that I discovered on a table among other things they have given me over the past few weeks.

I guess the old foodstuffs aren't even good enough for the food banks, because there was a note on the bag that said, "Thought we should give these grocery items to you before they hit their expiration dates!"

Hmm, appetizing.

Inside the bag:

One jar of peach marmalade, no date

One bottle of Ken's salad dressing, expiration 2/10/09

One box of sesame breadsticks that I've seen in their pantry each time I've opened its door since 2005 and each time I've said, "When you gonna eat these breadsticks?"

And don't even get me started on the homemade noodles from the church sale.

Dad: "Did you get the bag of food we left you?"

Me: "Yes I did. Why, what's this marmalade?"

Mom: "Oh, I don't know where that came from."

Me: "It looks really runny and orange and nasty." not to mention I don't like marmalade. But this looked like old cling peaches in heavy syrup chopped up and sold in a jar for $5 as a quaint homemade marmalade.

Mom: "Then throw it away! I don't care!"

Dad: "I guess you're just our dumping ground right now."

THANK YOU for finally admitting to it. That's all I ask, for an admission of guilt. Now on with life.

And thanks to BlogHer I found this site that I will be reading at length. Wish I had looked for it sooner for the advice I could have used YESTERDAY.