I totally panicked that my computer got the wackadoo worm that is scheduled to attack everyone tomorrow, or at least, every morning news reporter who thinks it's a story bigger than The Economy or Fargo or Israel or that new Paul Rudd movie, because I totally crashed it while trying to upload photos to support The List below.
So instead I thought I'd get all bloggy up in American Idol. Tonite's theme: iTunes top 100 songs.
Now, is this top 100 the current? If they get to select from the current top 100, then I predict some really juicy performances tonight. My problem is that I don't know all of the top 100 songs because I don't listen to Hannah Montana or Lil Wayne regularly. But I will give you predictions just the same.
Post show: Obviously, I got it wrong. Just top 100 since the beginning of iTunes? What a great catalog to select from...ummm....
Matt: He'll sit at the piano and attempt Adele's Chasing Pavements and the girls will swoon. Maybe he'll have a tan glow this week so he doesn't look so corpse-like.
Keyboard - check! Unattractive complexion - check! Horrible rendition of The Fray - Thank GOD he didn't do Adele.
Kris: Bad imitation of Jason Mraz. Paula will say that he made it his own, though.
Surprise, surprise, he's actually the most improved this week. I actually enjoyed listening to his Bill Withers arrangement, it did not make my ears bleed.
Allison: Maybe she could blow the roof off of a Hannah Montana song? Or Flo-Rida. She could really do anything wacky. Kara will call her brilliant.
She looked like this chick I knew at the G-bar in 1986 when I was drinking pitchers of kamikazes, and I can see where you'd go all pink to capture some Gwen Stefani juju but this was slightly painful. I didn't love it. But I love her.
Adam: Britney Spears, Womanizer or Circus would be excellent picks, ripe for re-interpretation, especially since there's already a Womanizer version out there that's kind of moody and slow. Simon will be scared of this.
I still think a Britney song would've been brilliant, but Play That Funky Music was fun...ky, even though his screaming causes my neck to spasm. Did you see Paula awkwardly dancing along? My fave quotes of the night followed this performance:
First, Paula has a hard time pronouncing "genius" and then talks really fast because her No-Doz just kicked in: "There are artists who have longevity in this business because of their unique and riveting performance I'll name a few Mick Jagger, Steven Tyler and Adam Lambert." Adam appropriately reacts with a blank expression.
Then, Kara: "It was like Studio 57 up in here." This seals it for me. I think Kara is a robot who is misprogrammed.
Anoop Dogg: Journey, Don't Stop Believin. That will make Randy Jackson really excited at first and then he'll say, "Anoop dawg, you know, I toured with Journey, dude, but that didn't work for me."
Still has the dead cow eyes even trying to work the stage all Ushery. Mooooo.
Danny: Danny could do something really crazy tonight with his big raspy voice and bespectacled face. However, his grandfather just passed away so he'll likely dedicate a song to him, Keith Urban. Paula Abdul will cry, Simon will hate it.
This is the only prediction I even came close to. Danny went country. Whoopee. Whatevs.
Lil Rounds: If she feels "edgy" she might take on Rihanna or Pink. If not, she'll do a really lame Taylor Swift and then Kara will say, "It was the wrong song."
Props to Lil for accentuating her rounds again. And nice wig. But she needs to go home now.
Scott the Blind Guy: He'll sit at the piano and do Darius Rucker. Zzzzzzzz...
Billy Joel. Zzzzzzz...
Megan: We can only hope that she chooses to tackle Beyonce, and dances along to "All the Single Ladies..." my second choice would be Lady Gaga. Simon will roll his eyes. Paula will tell her she looks really great.
First, I've never heard of this Lauren Hill/Bob Marley song or if I have I just didn't recognize it in her warbling tone. It felt like it was 14 minutes of torture but by all means form your own opinion.
Paula: "Megan, um, I think at this stage of the competition you need to...maybe dig really deep to an area that might not be comfortable but that's where beauty develops. By you sitting on a stool with just a center spotlight and you, just with no distractions of movement or anything like that ..."
Fucking hysterical. Megan should basically be a pretty mannequin uncomfortably propped up on a stool, only moving her lips to sing an Adele song under a single spotlight. I can't wait to see her do that next week.
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