I went for my pre-beach pedicure. And I'm SUCH a spaz.
As I unzipped my Uggs, I apologized in advance to the nail technician for my pre-beach pre-wax hairy legs so that she wouldn't go into shock. She kept her professional cool, but the other clients were horrified.
I spilled my refreshing mineral water all over the nice girl getting her own pedicure next to me. She said it was OK, but I know what it feels like to wear wet denim. It was so not OK. Then everyone laughed at me because I neglected to bring my own flip-flops and I had to leave the salon to go to work, and I could not shove my abnormally small feet into my Ugglies for another hour or so.
Therefore, I had to walk through slush and ice in those awkward, really thin pedicure shoes that were like made for size 9 feet. I tripped all over the sidewalk and my pretty little christmasy red toes turned blue.
I decided I should go to Target to get all the last minute items for my trip to Mexico and Christmas that I needed. As usual, when Christmas shopping I see too much fun stuff to give myself.
I had to try on a pair of silver leggings on sale. I thought, how glam-rock chic are these!?! Maybe, just maybe, I needed them.
Fortunately, they did not fit. Look how I'm trying to make them seem slightly attractive. Look how stunted my feet are.
Then, I noticed all the crap that manufacturers say "makes a great gift!"
Like the Listerine Teeth Whitening Kit. Gee...thanks for thinking about my stained teeth, Aunt Mary!
There's a house near me that is THE number one holiday light display in the eastern half of the state. But during the daylight hours, it just looks like a troubled, slightly insane person lives there, someone like Edward Scissorhands (but without the blades for fingers because then he couldn't do all the intricate wiring):
Finally, another sad development in outside Christmas decor - the deflated inflatables!
Santa's not dead - he's just resting.
You must write a book, chica.
Posted by: Lurker Girl | 16 December 2007 at 09:18 AM
Those inflatable things look like used condoms in the morning.
Posted by: Beth! | 16 December 2007 at 02:04 PM