So everytime we have a film festival planning meeting, I morph from a semi-collected and silly lipgloss-sportin' girlie into a MONSTER BITCH with mascara running down her face and teeth gnashing and unreasonable demands that we answer questions and make sure we know what the hell we're doing with our customers.
Tonite, being the eve of the fest, was no exception, of course.
I suppose that because I go into bitch mode, that I become the go-to person for "woman's work." You know, I end up volunteering by default for detailed repetitive tasks, notetaking, or shopping.
Because here's how the conversation goes:
Dagwood: "This filmmaker's father wants to throw a party for his son and the cast and fest staff after the screening. But, he doesn't want to arrange for a caterer, he just wants to give us the money to do it. So, does anyone feel like getting the food?"
Everyone: [no words are spoken but all eyes fall on me and Mary-Kate]
Dagwood: "the budget is $200, give or take - the father will reimburse us."
Teddy: "I say - go with $300. $350!"
Me & Mary-Kate: "Fine. We'll go to Wegman's tonite."
Dagwood: "OK, get those stuffed grape leaves..."
Teddy: "and some extra virgin olive oil and cracked pepper...."
Petunia: "do they have hummus?"
Teddy: "and some really good bread!"
Ernest: "pitas, too! like those mini-ones..."
Me {aka monster bitch}: "ENOUGH! KNOCK IT OFF! Don't you think we can handle getting $200 worth of Mediterranean-type foods?"
Teddy: {quieter} "$300. And don't forget the EVOO - and the pepper. Write that down."
So it's just another last minute thing that you swear you're not going to get sucked into but then the giant sucking sound starts when the crowd falls silent and eyes start to dart around the table looking for a willing woman and you think, "For the love of Betty Crocker, shut up and just give me the damn assignment and I'll get it done." I really have to learn to avoid eye contact.
Meanwhile, I was telling my dad today that I was trying not to stress out, and he said the best thing ever:
"Kid - it's just a film festival. EVERY CITY in America has a film festival. Even in Kansas."
I love your Dick.
I love when you DON'T step up to volunteer - and you actually say, "No, I can't. I have too much on my plate." And everyone stares at you like all you do is sit home and paint your nails and eat frosting out of the can. So you turn beet red and give in to the suction and wind up doing something you have no interest in doing. Yeah, that's just as great.
I don't really get the candles either (Dig my Goods post) but for grocery store items, they are kind of cool to watch.
Posted by: Beth! | 15 June 2006 at 08:48 AM
GRRRRRLLLL...YOU FUNNEEEEE!!
Posted by: NATZ | 15 June 2006 at 08:56 AM
Why the hell am I Dagwood?!?
Posted by: dejalurker | 16 June 2006 at 08:45 AM
You know the old saw about, "each according to his talents..."
[Duckin' over here...]
The Kansas line reached instant immortality. Bravo! Bravo! Author! Author!
Posted by: Tom Guarriello | 16 June 2006 at 11:31 PM