I have bipolar disorder, and because of a crushing depression earlier this year, I tried a couple of new drug cocktails. The last one was very surprising to me. I told the doctor that, and I asked him, "Is this the concoction of last resort? Am I that bad?" He said, no, there's plenty to choose from. Well, the surprising weird one is working for the depression.
Now I have hypomania. In the past, the mania has been really fun. Really productive but at the same time destructive. My drugs work pretty well for the mania, but some always comes through.
When it came on recently, I didn't realize it. I used the surge to get involved in some projects. Then, I realized it. So I'm trying to control the hypomania. I don't want it to kick my ass again - I've been through it and through it. I don't want to lose the positive feeling but there's a point where that positive feeling crosses over to feeling out of control. And I really don't want that again. Did I already say that?
Some things I do to control it, healthy or not, include excessive sleep, immersion in routine, eating well, walking a little, drinking a little alcohol - a little too often -- and Xanax. A little. I give myself extra time to think through decisions. I breathe deeply. Basically the same things I do to try to control my depression, although I tend to drink less and eat worse when I'm depressed.
It's so boring. I just listened to Pet Sounds and thought about Brian Wilson and his mania. Now that was exciting.