What does it mean when you walk into your therapist's office and she says, "Boy, I'm glad to see you!"
I said, "What? Really?"
"Yes, a friendly face, finally!"
Wow. Does she have some mean nasty people who pay to talk with her or what? Are people actually mean to a therapist? Just because you're paying someone doesn't mean you can be mean. I swear sometimes I hate people with the exception of a few individuals.
What it means is I went into entertaining clown mode, telling stories to make us both laugh through my anxious tears. Despite that, it was still therapeutic. I think I'll be on the mend soon.
I'm trying to kick a phobia that I'm embarassed about because it's silly and I don't want you to laugh at me. Laughing with me is okay, being known as the girl with the goofy phobia is not. The phobia came on suddenly and is basically a representation of aaaallll my anxiety rolled into one hairball thing that is being pulled apart now.
I also talked to the shrink, who has all kinds of old dust collecting tchotchka lining shelves in his office and I noticed for the first time (or perhaps it's a new acquisition) an antique bacon press. A pig shaped cast-iron press that says "bacon." I stared at this for a long time while I was waiting for the doctor, thinking about why people feel the need to press bacon flat. I think some of the beauty of bacon is it gets all curly. Maybe it's a message, this bacon press. Are we supposed to talk about the bacon press, since it's clearly a conversation piece? I thought it was really fucked up. I'm fucked up? Dude, you have a bacon press next to your desk.
I'm writing because a couple of people have said to me, "Why aren't you blogging?" so I did and here you go. Now I have to pee. Leave your comments below about cooking bacon or having phobias.