Things My Brother Said

Because I've hired my 40-year-old brother to do some yard and house work for me, because he is mentally disabled, and jobless, and feels useless, because I'm trying to help my parents, I have been spending more time with the brother over the last couple of weeks than I really ever wanted ever again in my lifetime.

But it's okay, because all counseling service I have purchased in order to cope with our tempestuous relationship have suddenly magically reprogrammed my brain to manage and respond appropriately to the awkward attempts at conversation.

So, this is giving me fodder for a new blog feature I'm calling, "Things My Brother Said."

Even though he is 40, he is mentally 17 years old.  Therefore, my brother is obsessed with just a few subjects:

1. Money
2. Cars
3. Guitars
4. Himself
5. Comparing Himself to Me

This week's installment of Things My Brother Said falls under subject #5, my favorite.

There are a lot of things he says to rival me. Or rile me. I went to college and he did not. This is a very sore subject.  For him, not for me.

He did not go to college because he chose to move to Hollywood with his dreams of rock stardom, and instead became a drug addict.  He does not see my choice to go to college as an achievement but as an undeserved gift I received from the angels and unicorns that surround me with with their rainbows of sparkly happiness.  He has been thinking about this injustice for 25 years.

And so he said:

"Don't take this the wrong way, but do you really need a college degree to do your job or do you just like saying you have a college degree?"

How I could have responded: 

"Why the fuck do you keeps saying the same shit for 25 years, asshole?!"

How I actually responded, in the same voice I use to talk to 8-year-olds, carefully selecting my words and not getting angry:

"That is a very good question indeed.  Hmmm.... I think that to get a college degree you need to use the same skills you would use for a profession, so, while there's no requirement for a college degree to do my job, I think I am able to do my job because of my experience in getting a college degree."

He said, "Oh," then proceeded to talk about another subject. That's for next week's installment.

Comments

[Lurker Girl]

You don't need to have a mentally disabled sibling to have conversations like that. Bouts of irrational jealousy can be a hallmark of a "normal" sibling relationship, no?

And don't you just like saying you have a colllege degree? I do. I have three, in fact, and will drop it into conversation (or blog comments) whenever I can!

BTW, I'm just kidding about all of this -- I know it's difficult having a sibling with issues. My former boss had a brother with major issues and she found it alternately frustrating, embarrassing, heartbreaking, and annoying.

[KtP]

Good for you, Blaugra. I know that wasn't easy.

[Average Jane]

That's some admirable restraint.

[blaugra]

Thanks girls!
(and I've not really experienced a normal sibling relationship, and I don't think he's fueled by jealousy. It's more about a sense of entitlement and delusion with him.)