Suck on this.

Yesterday I was so preoccupied with something small yet offensive, that I missed major news.  That pissed me off, getting so caught up with my own ego that I ignored the world. But I have to admit I was kind of tired from watching the Yankees spankee their formidable opponents which may have contributed to my cluelessness.

Well, you know that people say volunteering is good for the soul, and the government shoves down our throats the mantra that we should all care enough to volunteer.  I volunteer, and I've been doing that for the same three or four nonprofit organizations for the past couple of years. Generally, planning events or doing something with marketing or finances.  Most recently, I resigned from a post of board leadership because I just become too overwhelmed by management upheaval and reorganization and lack of funds and ...and...and....just talking about it makes my voice go up in octave and DECIBEL.

So anyway, since I didn't want to burn any bridges, I offered to keep helping as "just" a volunteer, on committees. A fundraising committee, where I could lend my development planning talents. But I soon found out I wasn't going to be embraced there because someone doesn't agree with my point of view.  Well, that's fine, whatever.  Shame, though.  They're missing out.

Then, I said I would serve on a specific event committee, where they needed someone to chair some kind of event task force and all that crap. I was moving along on that, enjoying it, feeling like I was getting shit done and that the event was gonna kick ass.

I found out, after I started working on it with my counterpart on the organization's paid staff, that certain directors no longer wanted me to chair the event. That they were telling their staff underlings that they were looking for my replacement.  OK, so I talk smack behind people's backs too, that didn't bug me. But I wish I knew what the hell was going on.

So I called the directors on it.  Said, "Do you want me to step away from this event chair position?  Let me know before I invest any more time."  Trying not to create any drama but also trying to avoid any future drama.

They lied. This is verbatim: "Noooo!  Absolutely not!  Whatever gave you that idea? You'll bring GREAT leadership skills to this!"

I let it go. No, I lied. I tried to let it go but ended up crying in the ladies room. That's not letting it go.  I seethed. I ate half of a stale apple focaccia, which is weird because it's like bland bread with some apple-y sweet topping.  Not quite a coffee cake. It really looks better than it tastes.

Then they said, "Let's get together, to make sure we're all on the same page."

Aaach, you KNOW what that means. "You're not on the same page as the rest of us, you screwed up."

Alright, maybe I screwed something up. Let's fix it. So I asked the person, "Did I screw up? Have I offended someone?" 

They lied again. "Nooooo!  You couldn't possibly offend me! We'll just get together and, you know, get on the same page. It's all a big...learning experience."

Obviously.  What?!

I'm confused and bruised, but it's so miniscule, it really shouldn't matter.

It does, though.  I'm a volunteer, acting locally, and the paid directors don't have the respect to say to me that there's a personality conflict, they want a different type of person, they don't like my hair, they're just not that into me anymore, what?  I don't even care what the reason is. Just be honest with me and my time. There are plenty of other organizations that could use my energy and talent. Except, I think I'm getting burned out with volunteering for a while. 

The thing is, when I was in a position of board leadership, they wanted me, needed me, loved me and I love that feeling, it's almost better than gin. Then the dynamic changed when I resigned, and I was no longer a person that they needed to suck up to. I am "just" a volunteer.

Some people think, "So what? It's a volunteer job, nobody's paying you, fuck 'em."

A volunteer job, I think, reflects even more on your character than a paid job. You're not in it for the money, you are (or you should be) in it for the mission. Walking away in anger from people who annoy you is not that easy when you're thinking about the cause, your reputation in a minor metropolitan area, and what it will all say about your character.

But if people are just going to be total asshats, and you calculate the dollar-worth of your time for dealing with the asshats, then it's time to cut and run with head held high.  I just wish it were easier for me to do that.

Have you had similar frustrating situations, either being a volunteer or working with volunteers at non-profits?  Do share.

Comments

[joanne]

I volunteer a lot like you. However, I don't have the patience/skills/whatever to be a board member or a chair or a lead. I'd really much rather just show up for my assigned shift, do the work I'm there for and go home. I did try to be a leader for a green-up project but they offered no support whatsoever for a newbie and I quit it. I felt a tiny bit bad because I think as a result my neighborhood doesn't get greened up at all but since we were just the red-headed step-children anyway, I try not to dwell. I volunteered with that same group about a year ago again, and the whole damn day was just a photo op for the mayor so I was done again.

[Lurker Girl]

I have a well-documented and universal dislike of people. So, yeah, no, I don't volunteer. Nor am I asked to. Coincidence???

[natzerella]

do we REALLLLY need to go there? I know a struggling neighborhood that could use a dynamic person such as yourself. We can pay you in admiration, the occasional dance party and maybe a cocktail or two!!!

[Kristin]

The Girl Scouts are calling...

[joanne]

Blaugra, as a girl scout leader former SUM, former encampment director, I say run from the Girl Scouts. They suck you in faster than you can sing a chorus of The Princess Pat. :)

[blaugra]

Yeah, I don't know how many more times in my life I could stand singing "Little Bunny Foo Foo" either.