blaugra

New York vs. Philadelphia

Both cities are across the river from New Jersey.  Both have new or newish stadiums. Philly has the good cheesesteaks and pretzels, NYC has the great pizza and delis.  Philly has the Mummers Parade, NYC has the Halloween Parade. Philly has the Liberty Bell, NYC has the... Liberty belle. 

On a good traffic day, I'm about a 90-minute drive from each city. You would think with this clutch location that we'd have awesome mass transit either way. Alas, no.

When people round here talk about the favorite hometown team, no matter how close they are to either city, they're mostly talking about the always sunny home of Tastycakes and Phillie Phanatics.

The Turnpike Series is gonna be awesome. I fully expect my northeast friends to cause Twitter and Facebook to explode with hysterical status updates and tweet wars. I'm very excited about both teams winning.

But here's something I did not know. Philadelphia is the greenest team in Major League Baseball.

DID YOU KNOW... "In 2008, the Phils purchased 20 million kilowatt-hours of Green-e Energy Certified Renewable Energy Certificates—enough to offset the team's entire year of power utility use. It was an unprecedented move in the world of professional sports, and carried the environmental weight of planting 100,000 trees. The team went on to win the World Series that year. Karma? We'd like to think so. The Phillies also purchased renewable energy to offset 100 percent of its electricity use for 2009, too. Look out, Yanks!"

"The Phillies have the most substantial offset program of any of the teams," says senior scientist Allen Hershkowitz, leader of National Resource Defense Council's (NRDC) sustainability and sports initiative, which has partnered with Major League Baseball. While the Phillies are certainly pioneers in efforts to green the game, the team is part of a larger effort spearheaded by Major League Baseball and NRDC to bring greening initiatives of varying levels to all Major League baseball teams."  Thanks, Rodale.

I did not know that, since I'm not an educated or consistent baseball fan. No fear, fans of the Evil Empire, the new stadium in the Bronx is also green, but not the best green.  Totally old news if you follow the stadium renaissance, but totally new to me.

Story about Pricey Punkins

My parents are moving tomorrow. If you haven't noticed the posts about dealing with aging parents on the move, you can see here and here and here how it's been going.  And going.

I stopped by my childhood home last nite, because they keep finding shit in the house that they don't know what to do about and so they call me about either taking it, storing it, selling it, or launching it into the charity thrift store universe. The final call was about a leaf blower.  I have three gigantic trees so of course I want the leaf blower, as much as I HATE leaf blowers, Salty D. has been jonesing for one and hey, it would be free.

I ring their doorbell for the last time. The porch is festooned with fall decor.  Why the fuck is the porch still decorated if they're moving tomorrow? 

I ask to see the leaf blower. "Well," my dad explains, "it's more of a leaf SUCKER than a leaf BLOWER.  It lost the blowing attachment.  And it's pretty old and worn out." 

I resist my urge to make a joke about an old toothless hooker.

"So then why did you call me about it?"

"We don't know what to do with it!"  Just leave it for the new owners, I said.  My parents are already leaving a shed full of lawn crap as part of the deal.  My garage is already full of their crap. Besides, raking leaves once a year is better for the environment and eardrums.

Mom then offers a box of tea, packets of salad dressing, and some crackers.  "Here. I found these in the cupboard do you want them?"   I picked up each one.  "Expired. Expired. Expired."  

"Really?  I just bought that Hidden Valley. Are you sure?"  I proceed to read each past date to my mom.

Honestly, Hidden Valley Ranch dressing mix and tea can live beyond their expiration dates, I just didn't want one more fucking thing. 

I left as quickly as I could after reviewing all their final arrangements. The last thing I wanted was a twinge of nostalgia, and I didn't want to absorb any more of their anxiety and lingering sadness.

Then I stood on the porch and said, "Ma. WHY THE HELL did you decorate the porch if you knew you were moving this month?" 

"We're not moving til tomorrow!" 

"Yeah, but, you have pumpkins, flags, corn cobs..." 

She said defensively, "This is just some of the fall decoration.  I already have half of the decorations at the new house!  That porch has pumpkins and mums, and a wreath...."

I pointed to two very bright orange pumpkins.  "What are you doing with these?  Can I take them?"

Mom had to think for a second. Do I want to pack the pumpkins or leave them as a welcome gift for the new owner or let my daughter take them...  She replied, "They're very expensive pumpkins."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"  I exclaimed.

"Yeah," my dad added, "you wouldn't believe the price per pound. We got them in New Hampshire." 

Oh my Gawd. We live in Pennsylvania. Last month my parents went on a trip to Canada, and stopped in New Hampshire on the way, apparently to go to a pumpkin patch. That means the pumpkins have been driven about 1,000 miles.

But I wasn't about to make an offer on buying the well-traveled pricey pumpkins. 

"I'm taking the pumpkins, OK?" 

It's the only thing I've asked for in this whole move. Well, not true. I also asked if they were moving the pretty birdbath, and they were.  

I drove away from the cul-de-sac of many happy memories (blocked out all the bad shit, of course) and realized the one thing I was sad about them leaving behind - the big beautiful endless summer hydrangea bush in the front yard with its blooms of many colors, which are now faded blue, purple and pink and kind of look like this:

 

Parental Guidance Suggested

My mom asked me to help with some pre-moving moving activities this weekend. Like, pack up and drive some boxes of bric-a-brac and whatnots to the new place. 

Me:  What time do you want me there on Saturday?

Mom:  No, not Saturday. Your brother is helping on Saturday. Come on Sunday.

Me: *sigh*  Why not Saturday? We can get more done all together.

Mom:  Nope. That's too many people to manage.

Me:  That's two of us - one, two....

Mom: No. Sunday. What time is good for you?

Me:  Anytime.  8:00?  9:00?

Mom:  Oh, that's too early for you on a Sunday morning.  How about 10:30?

Me:  I can do anytime, ma.  How about earlier?

Mom:  OK.  Let's say 10:00.  Between 10:00 and 10:30. 

Fine.  Set alarm for a leisurely wake-up time.

Sunday morning arrives.  The phone rings at 8:45 am. 

D. says, "It's gotta be your mother, asking you to come over earlier." 

Mom:  You can come over whenever you want.  Your father is ready for you. You don't have to wait until 10.

Me:  OK, I'm not quite together, but, I'll get over there when I can...

Mom:  If you stop for coffee, could you bring me some?

Me:  Yes...

In the car at 9:40 am, my phone rings.

Mom:  WHERE ARE YOU?!?!

Me: I'm picking up the coffee now. What?!

Chaser

I unreasonably hate Chase.

One of my credit cards is with Chase. I started to rack up late fees because the grace period was getting shorter and shorter.  Yes, they sent notices but who can keep track of every little detail?  So I paid one late fee - $39. 

Then mailed the next bill in the nick of time, but forgot about a mail holiday. One day late. Another $39. 

Then I with all my traveling around I forgot to open some mail. Another one day late, another $39. ONE DAY. That's $117 that my ditziness cost me. Plus whatever the finance charge was.

I wrote to Chase and explained that I was harried and that my grandmother had died (I don't know why I used that excuse, like am I in elementary school or something?) and could they please credit one of the

Gin, and 20 other things I consider valuable

Following my travelling around for a month, I am finally home. With nothing to look forward to but nesting for the winter and avoiding the heiny flu (which someone told me is the new name for H1N1.)

After a long weekend in Boston, a short trip to Washington, a little too much time in the Garden State (as much as I love it,) a tumultuous trip to upstate New York, I've decided that these are the things worth every penny:

1. the Palm Pre
2. goat cheese
3. Italian shoes on sale at DSW
4. heirloom tomatoes
5. fresh mozzarella
6. great tires
7. excellent facials
8. gin sampling
9. trips to Trader Joe's
10. perfect pancakes
11. train travel on the Acela
12. delicious fresh coffee
13. soft pretzels, Philly style
14. Klonipin
15. Honeycrisp apples
16. a DVR (I have yet to purchase, but it's coming soon!)
17. new brakes in my car
18. hired help in my yard
19. acupuncture appointments
20. donuts
21. mascara: either DiorShow or Wet-n-Wild mega - either one works it out!

Of course, these are just things, and the best things in life aren't things.

Miller Lite

I went to a show of U2's monstrous spectacular tour-de-force. And it was. I met up with a friend I haven't seen in a year, at her home in Maryland. She and her husband have a cute dog - he's got a big barrel-shaped body and a tiny head, I think they've had him on a diet.  She said the dog's name is Miller.

I'm like, "Miller is a last name, or an occupation, why is that his name?" and she said, "You know...Miller Lite."  Oh yeah, Miller beer. Right. It's a beer belly. I walked into their house and it was like a shrine to Miller Lite beer.  Her husband demonstrates brand loyalty.

Then we packed up her car with a cooler of Miller Lite and two bags of chips and sandwiches and headed to the stadium and "tailgated" among the other fans, the Blackberry/Sprint tents, Amnesty International tent, ONE campaign tent, and a huge amount of security including eyes in the skies.

I last saw U2 during the Unforgettable Fire tour in....um....I don't know.  I couldn't drive to it, I know that. And in recent years I haven't been a huge fan of their music. In fact, the most recent two albums bummed me out.

There are tons of oooh-aaaah posts and photos about the shows, the set list, the sets.  But I'm here to show and tell you what I saw and heard.

Standing under the giant spaceship set, 30 minutes before showtime. I can not stress how amazingly amazing this set is. Even if you dislike the band, if you have any interest at all in sets, lighting, sound, engineering...go you must.

We had tickets in the (RED)Zone which means we were on the floor, but not in the inner circle. One of the benefits of (RED)Zone tickets was "your own private bathrooms" which I was REALLY excited about.  I thought they would be one of those really nice trailers with real bathrooms in them, rolled out onto the football field. No, a line of port-a-potties so we didn't have to walk up stairs.  A good thing because we also had personal Guinness vendors which dammit I couldn't deal with because I

Coffee-mate

Have I mentioned lately how much I love Coffeemate?  The international flavoured coffeemates especially Italian Sweet Creme.  I think I might like that more than I like coffee.  I think this is why I am probably prediabetic although my glucose levels are incredibly fine then again I don't trust that as an accurate indicator.

I have to go out and replenish my stock of Coffeemate anyway.

So I am back to the mundane after dealing with the sacred.  The "sacred and full of dread" day of Yom Kippur where I prayed that I would live another year despite my ingestion of gross Coffeemate. Where I cried one last time about my Grandma's passing during the mourner's kaddish. Where I vowed to be a better person and really make the changes I want to make to be better, which includes saying no to doing things that are too much unpleasant effort and saying yes to things that make the mundane annoyances in life go away.

During one week I drove all over the place, from the source of the Susquehanna River to the bottom of it, across the Delaware a few times - I felt like a truck driver. I drank lots of bad road coffee (that includes Charbucks Anniversary Blend...ew...and no Coffeemate!) I even stopped for donuts at a truck stop. I didn't stay there long lest they think I was a lot lizard. 

I'm not good with all that being-away-from-home, but I'm better now.

p.s. audio book recommendation:  David Sedaris' When You Are Engulfed In Flames.