Movin' Out

My parents bought a house. They are moving from the home where I grew up.  That house has become my Suburban Horrorshow. 

I listen to each of my parents spill their guts to me about the other, separately.  "Your mother really wants to move."  "Your father is really pushing me to move."  "Your mother insisted we buy a new house."  "Your father needs a low-maintenance property."  They're both doing it for each other.  Is it like Gift of the Magi, though?  No, not really.  More like the blame game.

Along with deciding what to do with the piano, I'm also in on the decisions of what to do with the towels in the poolhouse.  Which towels do I want?  You'd better pick out the towels you want now.  And:

Mom:  What about these gardening books? 

Me:   Ummm.... I don't know.

Mom:  Well, if you don't want them, I'll give them to a friend.  I want you to have first dibs. I don't want you just giving them away, though.

Me:  Then give them to your friend.

Mom:  What?!  Why? They're really nice!

Me:  Yeah, but, I don't need any more gardening books. 

Mom:  *sigh* OK.

Dad:  What's this stack of books doing here?

Mom:  I asked HER if she wanted them, and she said 'no.'

Me:  Hi, I'm standing right here.

Mom: How about the bocce set? 

Me:  Sure. I'll take the bocce set. 

Dad:  How about that plastic white heron stuck in the flower bed?  We're taking that with us, right?

Mom:  No!  I'm not taking that stupid thing!

Me:  Why not? I thought you loved it.

Mom: They won't let us do that in the new place, too many rules.

Me: I'm sure if you join the owner's association you can change the rules.

Mom: I don't want it.  We'll just leave it here.

Dad:  What?  My heron?  Who will take care of it?  WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF THIS PLACE?

Me:  Ummmmm...you need to let go. 

Mom:  Stop it!  It's hard for HER too!  She's going to have a hard time with us moving!

Me:  No, I won't.

Mom:  No?

Me: It's just a box full of stuff. I'm ready for you to move to a new box with stuff in it. 

My mom is distressed.  She told me to stop talking.  Dad told me that I don't understand how they feel. I rolled my eyes.

Why is it that parents teach you everything they know, and then get pissed off when you use the skills and knowledge they have taught you?

But then later I thought, if Mom was a "homemaker" for most of her life, and I'm telling her that this old home is just a box of stuff, was she insulted?   Is she defined by the house, the flower beds, the custom-matched drapery in each room?   I asked her, "Do you think this house defines you?  Because it doesn't.  You are much more than a house." 

She waved me away and wiped her eyes.

Comments

[Krisitin]

Can they keep their same phone number? Cause I still remember it.

[blaugra]

HAHAHAHAH

I sure hope so. I don't think they can handle one more change.

[Jeremy]

I want the white heron!!

You'll be sad when that house is gone. I am always jealous of friends that can go "home" to the place they grew up. I haven't had that since I was 18 years old.