all we can do is keep breathing

Maybe you remember me talking about the Friend who did the very bad thing?

Well, Friend and I haven't spoken since the really bad part of the very bad thing was revealed to me. 

We have, however, recently written awkward emails to one another. 

And this weekend, one member of Friend's family is celebrating his college graduation. 

Friend's graduating kid wrote to me and said, "I don't know if you and my mom are talking or not, but, we're having a small party and I'd like you to come."

How could I say no?  I've known this kid since he was a fetus, and there's no way we're shunning him because of stupid things that Friend did.  And I've had a really, really hard time shunning Friend anyway, but for a time, I had to or I would have screwed up the legal case.

Friend wrote, if we came over, she would simply hide so we wouldn't see her or have to talk to her.  She said, "Why would you ever want to talk to me again?"  then she said, "There is so much I want to talk to you about."

I've decided that regardless of all the really bad shit, I'm gonna go over to Friend's house, hug her, and just be there in the moment, and for the moment.  I'm usually not good at forgiving - I'm pretty good at forgetting. 

I told the kid, We're looking forward to it, we'll bring a side dish and would like to see everyone, and I mean everyone. 

I have to decide what to give the kid for graduation.  Some green will be good, but I'm thinking of a gift card, too.  I can't think of what would be appropriate in this situation.  Electronics? Restaurants?  Gas? 

I'm sure I'll need a beer or two to get me through this one.  I'll just channel Ingrid Michaelson.

Comments

[Aunt D]

Friend needs friendship anyway you wish to define it. xo, D

[Jody]

Just happen to link over from KullsWorld and read your article (all three, even). I do wish I knew the extent of the crime that creates this anguish. It is pretty decent of you to bury it for the day for the new graduate. Good luck!

Sidenote: If you like Ingrid; you'll love The Weepies! Check them out if you have not already.

[blaugra]

Thanks for the supporting roles, Aunt D and Jody!

At some point I'll spill about the extent of the crime, which just keeps...extending. The really bad part keeps getting worse every week. It's like a big ugly sweater that you keep knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting...