You can never be too rich or too smart

I went to a seminar the other day called Smart Women Get Rich.  I'm on this real self-improvement kick. 

Who wants to be smarter and richer, and a woman?  I do! I do! 

The description was something like what a Suze Orman book would be titled, combined with a promise like - "Hey ladies, does the man in your life hold the purse strings?  Time to grab 'em for yourself!" 

I told the seminar leader, a woman I'll call Marsha, with strangely-colored peach acrylic nails that she clicked all the time on the table, that I have two men in my life who give me financial advice - my dad and my husband.  And for years, my dad would give me an annual subscription to Money magazine but it was pretty boring, I just read the non-finance related stuff like Best Places to Live or What This Celebrity Does With Her Money.  Clearly, I needed a little more info. 

The seminar content was kind of geared to married women who were setting themselves up for a d-i-v-o-r-c-e or who were recently dumped or widowed. 

The woman next to me asked, "What's an IRA?"  I suddenly felt really smart.

Marsha and her nails handed out a packet of information containing a picture of herself in Red Hat Society regalia and her financial consultant business card.  She wasn't what I would call old enough to be a Red Hat - my grandma is 95 and into that - so it seemed slightly ridiculous.  Why would I trust this woman with my money?

The seminar slapped me in the face with this mess we humans have made of everything, especially in America.  Why must we make life so freakin complicated?

Marriage is soooooo not about love.  It's about mergers and acquisitions. Love helps you through it and eases the pain of all this crap about sharing property and planning for retirement and paying taxes and dying.  But allow me to clarify, I really am happily married. 

Back to Marsha the teacher.  She was a funny bird who told stories like, "So I says to my husband Roy, I says, I will budget not only for my manicures but also for people to take care of pumping my gas so I don't ruin my manicures!"

Another gem:  [while caressing a Suze Orman book prop...] "Aaah, Suze.  Suze, Suze, Suze.  You're so smart.  But ladies, don't listen to her!!! DON'T!  You can't take her advice to heart because your situation is going to be different from Cindy's situation in Arkansas!"

And finally: "Ladies, when you go to the doctor's office, don't read the Family Circle.  Bring your own copy of The Wall Street Journal! [she picks up a two-month old prop copy of the Journal. Nice touch.]  Your atty-tude will improve just by carrying it, plus you'll look smarter." My mind recalled my most recent doctor's waiting room visit where I read an issue of American Cheerleader.   It was very educational.

I feel richer already.

Comments

[Kull]

Dude...my friggin orthodontist's office has that AMerican Cheerleader maggie too, I guess they try to cater to the clientèle!

[blaugra]

that issue was fascinating! I mean, I had no idea there was such a huge market for ponytail hairpieces!!